Is It Possible to Make Yourself Forget Something?
Medically reviewed by Timothy J. Legg, PhD, PsyD — Written by Corinne O'Keefe Osborn — Updated on September 18, 2018
Overview
Throughout our lives we accumulate memories we’d rather forget. For people who’ve experienced a serious trauma, such as combat experience, domestic violence, or childhood abuse, these memories can be more than unwelcome — they can be debilitating.
Scientists are just beginning to understand the complex process of memory. But there’s still a lot they don’t understand, including why some people develop post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) and others do not.
Research into intentional forgetting has only been going on for about a decade. Prior to that, memory research revolved around retaining and improving memory. The topic of erasing or suppressing memories is controversial. Recent researchTrusted Source into “forgetting pills” is frequently challenged on the grounds of medical ethics. For some people though, it could be a lifesaver. Keep reading to learn what we know so far about intentionally forgetting things.
How to forget painful memories
1. Identify your triggers
Memories are cue-dependent, which means they require a trigger. Your bad memory isn’t constantly in your head; something in your present environment reminds you of your bad experience and triggers the recall process.
Some memories have only a few triggers, like particular smells or images, whereas others have so many that they are hard to avoid. For example, someone with a combat-related trauma might be triggered by loud noises, the smell of smoke, closed doors, particular songs, items on the side of the road, and so on.
Identifying your most common triggers can help you take control of them. When you consciously recognize a trigger, you can practice suppressing the negative association. The more often you suppress this association, the easier it will become. Researchers believeTrusted Source you can also reassociate a trigger with a positive or safe experience, thereby breaking the link between the trigger and the negative memory.
2. Talk to a therapist
Take advantage of the process of memory reconsolidation. Every time you recall a memory, your brain rewires that memory. After a trauma, wait a few weeks for your emotions to die down and then actively recall your memory in a safe space. Some therapists advise you to talk about the experience in detail once or twice per week. Others prefer that you write out a narrative of your story and then read it during therapy.
Forcing your brain to repeatedly reconstruct your painful memory will allow you to rewrite your memory in a way that reduces the emotional trauma. You won’t be erasing your memory, but when you do remember, it will be less painful.
3. Memory suppression
For years, researchersTrusted Source have been investigating a theory of memory suppression called the think/no-think paradigm. They believe that you can use your brain’s higher functions, like reasoning and rationality, to consciously interrupt the process of memory recall.
Basically, this means that you practice intentionally shutting down your painful memory as soon as it starts. After doing this for several weeks or months, you can (theoretically) train your brain not to remember. You basically weaken the neural connection that allows you to call up that particular memory.
4. Exposure therapy
Exposure therapy is a type of behavioral therapy widely used in the treatment of PTSD, which can be particularly helpful for flashbacks and nightmares. While working with a therapist, you safely confront both traumatic memories and common triggers so that you can learn to cope with them.
Exposure therapy, sometimes called prolonged exposure, involves frequently retelling or thinking about the story of your trauma. In some cases, therapists bring patients to places that they have been avoiding because of PTSD. A multisite clinical trialTrusted Source of exposure therapy among female service members found that exposure therapy was more successful than another common therapy at reducing PTSD symptoms.
5. Propranolol
Propranolol is a blood pressure medication from the class of medications known as beta blockers, and it’s often used in the treatment of traumatic memories. Propranolol, which is also used to treat performance anxiety, stops the physical fear response: shaky hands, sweating, racing heart, and dry mouth.
Recent double-blind trialsTrusted Source in 60 people with PTSD found that a dose of propranolol given 90 minutes before the start of a memory recall session (telling your story), once a week for six weeks, provided a significant reduction in PTSD symptoms.
This process takes advantage of the memory reconsolidation process that happens when you recall a memory. Having propranolol in your system while you recall a memory suppresses the emotional fear response. Later, people are still able to remember the details of the event, but it no longer feels devastating and unmanageable.
Propranolol has a very high safety profile, which means it’s generally considered safe. Psychiatrists will often prescribe this medication off-label. (It’s not yet FDA-approved for the treatment of PTSD.) You can inquire about local psychiatrists in your area and see if they use this treatment protocol in their practices.
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